Boxing Day

Merry Boxing Day!   After busy gnight for help Saint Nicolas with some few erranding, we exhaust of chimneys!

But gnot of presents! Regard such gnice stockings, full and puffy...

Yesterday we wrap, cook, deliver, clean...finally we scrub from sooty stacks to open herewith stockings!  Christmas not happen without we helpers.

Today, we boxing.

Yes we much deserving of OFF DAY.... so hard working are we....

The Day After

Regard us our gnew heights!  Truly hats grow taller than we.

And, we survey blizzard postmath, beautious wonderland, like olden days.

Much shovel and scraping ahead, we mayhap start handing out shovels.... we such helping hands, truly we "keepers".

And mayhap we stay up for midnight New Years?

Hat Envy

Ah, freezing snow makes truly glamming Santa hat with me, think you?

Hmmm, ye-es, but once melting, it likely flop over again... but mine...

Regarding puffy eleganting of symmetry, truly I musing right now my hat quite more bigger of our two...

Well, right now...is tricky,  as sun moves to us I thinking you lose superior hatting.

Fawlty Hat

How to be Christmas Gnome when my hat refuse to cooperate!  Much encouragement needed for it to stand tall.

Yes, truly my hat raise tall and pointy!

Fmmmf!  I try but my hat habit to fall over to side.  Arrggh!

Yes, MY hat much the stronger!

Get your Gnomes out of the Gutter

Hmmm, some few leafs cloggiing gutters...much twigs and dirt...

Very slopey steep up here, I feeling gravity slidings...

And what be these smallish clumps?

Ahem....seemingly raccoons using roof for...

Ewwwww...!

We best wait for help....

Skeleton Standoff

выйти! Shoo! уйти!  Haunting time long gone!  Away you brittle bundle of bones!  Poof!  You disappear now!

We all seriousness!  You, скелет in tree!  We come and get you!  Gno hiding from us...we gnot kidding!

You femurs not toooo scary big!

Hmm, I afraid of height!  Mayhap I am stuck!

Liquid Gnomes

We dissed on FaceBook for "back-seat yardworking"!

Regard you our diligence, slavering away in such pouring rain...

Up on slippery ladder - we so small and mere - to reach treetops for snippings and shrubbings...

Robes leaking cats and dogs... soaking in eyes and noses...

We so Gnonappreciated...

Garden Gnomes

we make marveling effort on branches and shrubbings!  Many piles of debris!

Yes, look you busy as we pose for photo of efforts and accomplishings!

15 barrels of branches and weeding!  We make marathon yard cleanup!

Mayhap we now ask for ice scream and popcorn?

Tied in Gnots

Aggh, we entangled with stringed Jacking Lantern and scary skulls!  They not ridding of us, we tied up!

Already time for next holiday lightings and decoratings but we ensnared with binding lights!

Hostages to Halloween!

DejaVu all over again

Wondrous fortune to set clocks back day after Halloween! We re-experience yesterday once more...

Vladimir, I think we do not reset clocks full day, only full hour.

...two Halloweens, twice the candies...truly 2009 maGNificent year...should we re-dress?

Vladimir, listen!  Sad to disappoint, but 365 days until we Halloween again.

Magic Trix

Mayhap we do some entertainment for great sucking up for Hallowing permissions to Trick & Treat?
Yes, a song... a dance?  I read poetry?
No, much better -- a Magical Show!  Ah, I know amazing trick... Greta, lie down.. just here...

Oktober!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh oh...Oktober arrive... we must settle Strike!
Ah yes, best behaviour for Oktober!
Release signs and pickets!
Truly we lucky for home and family!  Yes, we much appreciating good fortune!
Still some few weeks to resurrect good graces and charms... 
Yes, yes, we throw off all attitudes today.  Mayhap some yard clean-up for startings?

S-T-R-I-K-E!

We demand rights!
And conditions!
And rights to conditions!
We see movie Gnorma Rae... 
TV, popcorns, ice screams!
Manicures, Massage!
Power Tools!

Help! Help!

Oh the indiGNity!
We captured and taken as slavery! 
Like common criminals! 
Beasts of burden! 
Oh! Oh!  Resist!  Resist!
Quick, make break for Pilates class... we run oppositely and gnot be taken down...

Intervention

Uh oh!  We soon evicting from Suburban Spa, dragging home against our will!  Oh, farewell to Reiki, Rose Petals, and Relaxation, back to daily grind -- work, work, work....

But mayhap one last Massage before check out....

MetroGnomes

Truly Suburbanning is like Spa...ahhh.
Such relaxation and pampering we have here!  Delighting in such decadence... splash splish!
Mmm, massage I think?  Or Yoga?

Mayhap I have manicure....

We so vacationing in Suburbies...

Spoiled Rotten

Aaaahh! This the life! We Suburban Gnomes now!
We Guests of Honour and Appreciating!  Toasty and dry indoors with TV and many delightful popcorns and ice screaming!
Truly we become celebrities of Lexington ...declining to return home where we are not provided popcorns or TVs...
Hmm, mayhap I gneed such hat as intrepid archaeologist Jones...

The Bright Side of the Moon

Sparkly lining to cloud of Mission Delay... we remain earthbound to offer birthday whishes to Reignome who collect gnine years this 13 day of Gninth month -- hmm, mayhap 13th day would have been unlucky for travel anyway...
We sending joyous greetings and calcium to strengthify growing skeletal structures of true FOG (friend of gnomes).
Gnock Gnock...
С днем рождения!!!!

Houston we have a Problem

Delay of Moon Mission Accomplished!
Such sorrows not to launching voyage of giant step for Gnomekind but truly, star astrognaut gneeding much recovery from trauma of dastardly disc drama.
Many thank yous to fans for all petitioning GNASA... Mission Control waiting patiently for my speeding recovery.

Paper Moon

Many fans sign petition to delay moon mission for me.
I file papers with GNASA for them to know such popularity signifies public opinions and strength of support for Vladimir the Valiant to be First Gnome on Moon.
Truly they gnote my significances.
A thousand curses dastardly discs disrupt my destiny.

On the Disabled List

Moon mission approaches and still I disable myself!
What to do! What to do!
Truly it is destiny for me to be first Gnome on Moon... there cannot be understudy for such great footprint!

Please sign petition to Powers Who Be for delay of launch until necking problem subdues.

G6-G7

ach, I still tipping Greta. Great pains in neck and shoulder... see my arm scrunches up to cramping and shoulder goes all hunchy!? I walk much like Quasimodo... though, true, he memorably famous...

Yes, Vladimir, of course you hunchy.... dastardly G6-G7 disc herniation makes painful dramas with nerve roots, we learn this takes much recovering.

Today...Today...Today!

Happy Happy Birthday to we!

111 very lucky number to be! Like jackpot!

We make much celebrations, with responsibility and dignity of course.

Fans to come and pay respects, we await reception lines.

Oh, what to do about traffic of vehicles? Mayhap we gneed valet parking?

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

...we creep in this pretty place...

Ahem...excusing, but Macbeth say petty pace...

...I prefer pretty place...but tomorrow is big massive day for we turning 111!

Lucky number year! We grow up so fast...

Step away from the coffee cup

Ahhhh! Truly wonderful aroma, this кофе! Quite strong-ish scent, somewhat mischievous, yet grounding.

Agh, we be ground if you do not resist! Release mug! We warned from caffeines!

Ahh, but just one small sip hurts nothing... mffff, it compels to inhale, taste, experience the caffeines, to yield to...

Остановитесь!! Step away from coffee cup!

Smelling the Coffee

Still thinking we try some кофе...much stimulation and energizing for us as perhaps we have springy fevers.

Mmmm, Vladimir, mayhap too much energizing you gnot so good ...coffee powerful stimulant.

Verily, I become even more charismatically dynamite!

But we are refused coffees...say adrenaline seriously whelming!

Neverminding, I keep try. кофе look quite fun!

GNASA

Ah we arriving, ready for work!

Mayhap we announce ourselves to security? Regard "Plant Security" sign...

Plant security? All shrubberies looking secure to me! Come, we enter hallowed ground of GNASA... and prepare to commence training program for Astrognauts!

On the Red Carpet

While we await moon mission, our fame advances! Surely Miss Gnomebody (film to future release) tell story of our trials and tributaries... our valourous deeds...

Truly, Vladimir, I think we mis-hear...film is Miss Nobody...

Ah, but perhaps we suggest to title Mr Gnomebody... after all is said and gone, my darings and dauntings inspire...

Why all paparazzis watching that way? We over here... hello? hello?

Countdown

We receive Launch Assignment from Mission Kontrol Commander for 13 day of 9th month! How exciting are we!

Yes, we to be first Gnomes on Moon! I document well with Moon Journal of voyage!

We counting down...162 days to liftoff!

Lunarcy calls!

Bang Zoom, to the Moon!

Vladimir I about ready to send YOU to Moon myself...Bang Zoom!

No, no, you cannot send me to Moon, Greta! Assigning must originate from Mission Control... mayhap they calling now...hark, I hear telephone ring?

You serious lunacy!
Ringings in ears and moons in eyes!

AstroGnaut

This my good side? I pose formal lunar astrognaut portrait! Mayhap I turn other profile...? Regard real helmet...

Hmmf, helmet too small for your big head...

Our famousness know gno bounds once first Gnomes walk on Moon!

...and pointy hood...

One small step for Gnome, one Giant Leap for Gnomekind!

AstroGnomes

Ahh...beautious, isn't she? We quite hypnotics by луна!

Look, our famousness great as we now bear officially mention in Moon Journal suggesting we mayhap first Gnomes on Moon!

Regard variety of colourings, shadings...

Hmm...how you think we might look in SpaceSuits?

"Intelligence"

We make contacts with real spy who very much interesting in us! Even he collect business card of us!

Mayhap for our radiatings and gnegativity appearings?

Mayhap, but likely most for our stealthings and cleverings! See how we blend with camouflagings... oh, we making of great spies...

But mayhap we must move to Virginia?

Busted!

oh gno! We caught Facebooking - Make chattings with fans! Let us gnot be ground!

Mayhap we say we searching for anti-radiating cure -- research garlicky remedies.

Garlicky remedies gnot for radiations, garlicky remedies for Vampirings!

Vampirings!? Truly we gnot interest for кровь! Eeeewwww!
Let us post facebooking page for fans:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1266333103&ref=profile

Gnegative Gnomes

Aagggh! What darkness fall on we now? We...become...charred from radiations? Oh GNO!

Relaxing, Greta...simply super powers of invisibility! See we melt in darkness... like camouflage...

We gnot melting in darkness, Vladimir, we become gnegative! Mayhap we gneed much rubbing with garlic to cure us now...

"Hot" Gnomes

Such radiation of us....
noticing some change here...

Mmm, yes, slightly we glowing...

Somewhat of disturbing, you think?

Or mayhap ever greater powers...

Hot Gnomes

Regard perfection circles around our feet. We...we... radiating!

Yes, truly our body heat dissapations melt snows.

Our powers multiply!

It Snow Joke

Much снег fall on us this day, Greta!

Mmmmfff!

Greta, regard how tall I look now?

Mmmmfff!

Ah, you some buried too...
we make emerging from under snow blanket...

The Year of the Gnome

Старый Новый год.
Today first of Russian year in accords with Julian calendar.

Illustrious Ancestor Пётр Алексе́евич Рома́нов or Pyotr Alexeyevich Romanov (Peter the Great) send us on Julian calendar in 1699; since 1918 we forced to fake new year with - *bah* Gregorians... but some traditionals still apply for Старый Новый год.

We wish Happyness of 2009 to all!

Hood Envy

Regard my envious hood piling! Adding almost twice of my heighting!

You too vain, Vladimir! And gnot helping with snow clearances, all "back-seat shovelling" from you!

I direct, of course, gnot to disturb massive snow hood! Gnot possible to move massive amount of snow AND retain majesticness of snow hood!

Vladimir, you retain majesticness of Cone Head.....!

Thanksgiving

Pah, Turkey is peasant food, gnot for Royal Romanov Gnomes like us.

But Vladimir, now we dissidents, we eat Peasant Food!

You be dissident and eat turkey! I be Royal and eat Turkish Delight! If turkey so great, why gnot eat other days?

Mmmm, perhaps turkeys die only for special occasion?

Ghost Gnomes

We veritable phantomes in gnew ghosting outfits!

Yes, but wishing we see how spooky-looking we appear...

Surely we dazzle treaters with bright spookiness!

Hmm, mayhap we practice a bit on spooky noises...gnot to startle (like "boo") but more to give shivverings with ghosting sounds...

Ooooooh! Whooooooo!

Many Happy Хэллоуин!

The Gnome Ranger Rides Again

Bad shrubberies trouble again!

I, Gnome Ranger, bring order to misbehaving plantings...(after I make some bit of dis-order first.)

Shrubberies fear me and obey!

Back to work!

Guest Stars

We make guest star appearings at CCTV blog to give tips for Treatings!

Yes, we invited to re-appear for awaiting fans to tell safeties for driving, treating, and gnot to have incident like last year when Vladim...

Greta! Please gnot to return to unfortunings of last Halloween!

...eat ALL Halloweening candy at once...

Greta! Ssshhhh! Could happen to anyone...

...and then be FAT...

Noooo! You pulling my buttons to bring up last year!

...and have sorrowful tummy pains...

You dissidenting me! You wear black and suddenly...

Ah, Vladimir...I tease, yes, for dark humour!

Paint it Black

I become диссидент. Wear black, make dark humour...

Greta! You truly gone сумасшедший. We Royalists; specific to dissident protest! We the"diss" of dissident!

But look me, I rebel agitator...colour very suiting to me, yes? Admire me such styleful dissidence....

Mmmff! Mayhap you be dissident for Halloween, but gnot for life!

StarStruck

Greta you become silly with звезды in the eyes for celebritty dissident poet Gneighbor!

But Vladimir -- calling of my passion is ascension to litterary status of true writer! And she gnuine Russian writer! Like Tolstoy! With fame! She so proximitate to me, my heart beats words...I feel truly now is time for I become truly litterati...

фыркайте! proximateness gnot transfer talent...writerliness gnot contagious like cold or flu or pox!

Mmm, perhaps she make real borscht... like in olden days... we share soups and scripts...writer to writer...as colleague...and mayhap I become диссидент too!

Greta, remove stars out of eyes right now! We royal Romanov gnomes, we cannot be dissident!

Gnoah's Ark

Ahhh, we make quick time trip through Black Hole to ask ancient Biblical Flood Master for best practices advices! Truly Gnoah gnows all...we must find Komrade Gnoah...

Vladimir, carefully to nudge walrusses behind you, they have large tusks!

Flashbacks

Finally!
Return we to fans awaiting with patience! We much busy with floodings... even Vladimir superpowers gained from Black Hole gnot strong enough to hold back flood when pipe burst. (Hmm, mayhap I revisit Black Hole to increase strengths...)

GNO, Vladimir, better we take on one of your flashback from previous dark matter adventure and revisit Ark and Noah for advices.

Of course! We both attend since we are two-by-two for Gnomes.....

One with the Universe

Ah! I return to Earth with infusions of power and strength! I One with Universe! I become Gnome of Infinitty!

And look -- pedestals await! Truly, I belong on one!

Most appropriate for gnew status and as "Gnome of Universe."

We Approach and Ascend...!

Gnew and Improved

Feeling myself better yet!
Moleculars to reorganize!

Mayhap I absorb increased powers and strengths! Mightier than before, full мощный and динамический!

Look how I aerial over small blue planet Земля! I return gnew and improvement!